Prayers in Progress

"How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you." 

~Isaiah 30:19

When we pray, God hears us. 

And as long as what we're praying is aligned with God's Will, as soon as He hears, He answers our prayers! The answer may be dramatic or sudden, or He may begin something that we won't see as an answer until sometime in the future. Sometimes answered prayers are not what we expected.

God doesn't hesitate to answer our prayers: "As soon as He hears". We have to come to Him though and ask; we have to present our requests to God. Luke 11:9-10 says that if we ask, it will be given to us. God can't answer the prayers that we don't bother praying- that's why we are told to present our requests to God for everything (Philippians 4:6) and to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). 

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32) 

Why wouldn't God want to answer our prayers? He's already given us everything else! God wants to answer your prayers- He is answering your prayers. You just have to pray them. 

The Same Power

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~ Ephesians 3: 20-21 

I was reading this verse the other day, and it jumped out at me in a new way. Let's go through what this verse is saying:

• God is able. He can do all things. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37). God. Is. Able. 
• He provides abundantly. Immeasurably more- more than our wildest dreams. God can do more than you expect. 
• God provides for us and gives through His power. It's because of His power that He is able to do more and give to us so abundantly. He can do "immeasurably more" because His power is immeasurable. 
• God's power is at work. He is working in us and through us. We are filled with the power of the Lord! God is, right now, working in you. "His power that is at work within us". You are filled with the power of God. God didn't stop working on you in the past, and He isn't waiting to work on you in the future- His power is driving, and working, and moving, and transforming you right now! And He's doing in a way that you can't imagine. Don't become discouraged in the waiting or the slow progress or the trials, for God is working. His power isn't simply working around us, or near us, or in your perfect friend, or in your pastor, but within you. <3

What an encouragement! The power of God is in you- is, meaning currently, meaning now. The same power the conquered death and sin is in you. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength (Philippians 4:13). Wow. 

I Want Ears to Hear

As I've grown up, I have learned a lot about prayer: how to pray, when to pray (always), what to pray etc. And as I've grown up, I have also gotten better about praying more and giving things (or trying to) to God, and expecting great things from the power of our prayer. I see God all the time, and see many answers to prayer.

I'm struggling when it comes to listening though.

Prayer is a conversation with God, and I always have a lot to say. I know He has answers and responses for me, but honestly, I don't know if I know how to hear Him. Aside from having or not having peace regarding my prayers, I'm not sure how to determine God speaking to me. I want so badly to have ears to hear God's voice, and to be able to know when He is guiding and instructing me to do something, but it seems like I don't know how to listen.

I feel like a lot of the time I pray for something, and then it either happens or doesn't, and that's my answer, and everything happened without my acting on it. Or, I feel that I may confuse what could be the Holy Spirit with my own thoughts and desires...?  Like, am I getting in my own way when it comes to conversing with God?

I know God speaks to us in many many ways, and I'm not expecting to hear the audible voice of God, but I'm discouraged because I feel like I need to listen better, but I don't really know how. I ask God to make things clear to me, to open and close doors so that I can't mistake false opportunities, and to give me peace or not regarding a situation, but I feel like that's where it stops.

How do you listen to God? How does He speak to you? I don't know how to approach this when I'm already seeking help from Him- how will I find the answer when I can't hear?

I'd appreciate any wisdom and insight, as well as prayers, because I really really don't want to follow my own desires before I follow God's, and I feel like I can't hear what He has to say.

xoxo,
Katie

We are God's Workmen

"Moses said to the Lord, 'O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.' The Lord said to him, 'Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.' But Moses said, 'O Lord, please send someone else to do it.' Then the Lord's anger burned against Moses and He said, 'What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you..."

I can hear God's sass now: "Who gives man the ability to speak?? ME. I can help you! But if you won't do it, I've already got someone else who can. Your brother can do a great job- don't worry."

Lol. But seriously guys, if we feel the need to question and avoid God's instructions, He will find an alternative way to fulfill His plans.

Moses practically argues with God about his ability to work as God's mouthpiece- he doubts God's place to use himself as the leader of this mission. Moses doesn't feel capable or qualified, and he asks God for someone else to do what God has asked. SO GOD USES HIS BROTHER instead.

When we avoid and question and refuse God's instruction and path for our lives- when we don't obey what He has called us to- He will find another way to make it happen. God doesn't need us! But He wants us!! He chooses us (!) to work on His behalf and to display His love and power. But if we refuse, He will find another way to make that happen. He is willing to help us and equip us (4:12) to handle the hard, intimidating, and scary things that He may ask us to do! But He can't force us- that is our free will and choice.

When God gives you opportunities to serve and lead for His glory, don't refuse! If He is instructing and leading you, don't doubt His plan and dismiss your ability. God chooses us, and HE equips us and grows us to meet needs and build His kingdom- why would we ever want to miss that chance?! That is not to say another opportunity won't be given to us- our God is a god of second chances- but I know I'd hate to miss any chance I had to reveal God's power , and shine His love and glory, to everyone around me.

We Need Only to Obey

"'So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.' But Moses said to God, 'Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?' And God said, 'I will be with you'...Moses said to God, 'Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is His name?' Then what shall I tell them?' God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.'" (Exodus 3:10-14^) 

As I was reading this the other day, through chapter 3 (and really the whole story with Moses), I realized that this was a great reminder of another way God works in our lives: If/when we take the time to talk with and listen to God, He will give us very clear instructions for what we are supposed to do in any situation, whether for the long-term or just temporarily.

In this passage, God told Moses exactly what he needed to say and do for the Israelites to believe God had sent him; God gave Moses specific instructions to get the job done. 

Through the passage, there's very little hint as to how the people will respond to what God is telling Moses to do. There's few ideas about what they'll think or say or do as a reaction toward God's instruction. 

If you think about it, God may only tell you what you need to be concerned with regarding any plan, so that you're not tempted or inclined to stray from His instruction. If you're worried about how people will argue or put you down when going through God's instructions, you're likely to back-down and talk yourself out of following-through; we as people don't like to be opposed or made to look foolish or silly, but that can often happen when people who don't see or understand your motives and 

reasoning are more than ready to mock you. A great example of this is the story of Noah (Genesis 6). God told Noah to build the ark; He gave dimensions and specific details that Noah simply obeyed, but Noah's obedience didn't come without lots of questioning and joking and ridicule. I mean, think about it: your neighbor Noah decides to build a massive boat, because God told him the earth would be flooded someday?? Talk about an eye-sore, sitting in the yard- how weird is that guy. 

But we don't need to worry about what other people will think or do in response to our God-directed actions, we only need to obey what God had told us to do. You may face a lot of opposition and questioning, but that is for God to handle. He will follow through and fulfill every promise: "The elders of Israel will listen to you...After that, he [Pharaoh] will let you go" (vs. 18a, 20b).  And what do you know, Pharaoh did (Exodus 12:31). 

God may not reveal to us the reactions of our peers as He tells us how to handle anything, and He may not even reveal to us the ultimate outcome of our obedience in the beginning. We often go into many things unsure of the result to come. But we can be sure that if we come to God, and seek Him and ask for guidance and instruction, for anything, He will tell us everything we need to know. 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find..." Matthew  7:7 

There is None Stronger

Father to the fatherless 

Defender of the weak
Freedom for the prisoner...

You're with us in the wilderness 

Faithful to provide...

Sing out 

Lift your voice and cry out
Awesome is our strong God 

Mighty is our God
Sing out 

Raise your hands and shout out
Awesome is our strong God

Mighty is our God

There is no higher no
There is no greater no
There is none stronger than our God

(Psalm 68:4-5)

As we sang this song in church tonight, my heart was touched.

 I realized that this song, these words, are meant for the world: they are meant for the people of Paris, the Syrian refugees, victims and families of ISIS members, and people around the world who have to watch lives of the innocent be stolen at the hands of evil men. 

In the midst of loss and pain and evil, we must remember that there is none higher, none greater than the God we serve.  

Our God is our Father, He is our Defender, He is our freedom. He is with us in moments of celebration and moments of grief. 

For families of victims of the Paris terror attacks must grieve, children who lost parents - people now fatherless - are still being held by our Lord. 

For Syrian refugees fleeing from their homes, from their country, who are literally wandering in the wilderness. 

God is with them in their wilderness. 

For the victims of ISIS being slaughtered, powerless to the forces around them, God is their defender.

Psalm 34:18-19 tells us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." And that He is "our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble" Psalm 46:1

In times of loss and fear, we cannot rely on our own understanding of a situation because we do not see the big picture. We must trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5), for victory rests in Him (Proverbs 21:30-31).

This song needs to become our declaration.
We cannot deny the power of our God. He is here, and there is none higher, none greater, none stronger.
God has already defeated sin and death.
We know how this war will end. <3

God's Loving Spirit

As I was reading in Isaiah the other day, a passage jumped out at me: 

"I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on in his willful ways. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel." ~ Isaiah 57: 17-18

In the beginning of the chapter, God is talking about all the ways the people of Judah have gone against Him with lying, lusting, worshipping false idols etc. 

He asks them, "Whom have you so dreaded and feared that you have been false to me, and have neither remembered me nor pondered this in your hearts? Is it not because I have long been silent that you do not fear me?...When you cry out for help, let your collection of false idols save you!" 

Talk about a dig. Yet, despite God's anger and hurt from being ignored by His people,

He goes on to say, "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." 

God chooses to walk with the people who are humble and lowly and weak in spirit; He values the ordinary, simple, and modest. God wants to strengthen us, to heal us, and to comfort us when we are lowly and weak. He is hurt when we sin against Him, and when we ignore His will and instruction for our life. But that doesn't make Him love us any less; our disobedience doesn't erase His grace and compassion. 

 "I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him...And I will heal them." 

God wants to heal us. He wants to help us. He wants to hold us up and give us strength. And He wants to comfort us, and show us where to go. He doesn't care about our mistakes. 

Even when we walk away from Him, He waits for us. He has seen our sin, and our past, and He loves us anyway. All we have to do is draw near to Him, and He will draw near to us (James 4:8). 

"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor His ear too dull to hear." (Isaiah 59:1)

God hears your prayers, your cries, your praise. He's reaching out His arm to save you. And He will do it:

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." ~1 Thessalonians 5:24

He will do it. <3

The Power of Prayer

Throughout my life, the topics I've learned about in church never really seemed relevant to each other (if that makes any sense). Like, obviously they're relevant because it's God's Word and it's truth, but from week to week they never really felt connected to me. The last several months though, one idea has been very prominent no matter what the lesson may be, and it's one that has stuck with me in a way that many other ideas don't: the power of prayer. Sounds like a pretty basic idea, right? I mean, how complicated could it be?

Well, it's not that prayer is complicated. For me, it's that prayer has always been a splotchy area; I pray before meals (most of the time) and before bed (if I don't fall asleep in the middle of them), but I've never been good at remembering to pray throughout my day, just one little piece at a time. It doesn't have to be much more than that- and I can pray for myself or anyone around me.

The idea of the power of prayer has come up again and again lately in church. Stories have been told, and you can hear these stories from many people, about how prayer was a miracle for them; that someone was healed, or spoken to by God in a dream, or just given hope to keep living. And every time I heard about the power of prayer, I thought to myself, "Man, I wonder what my prayers could do for someone" , you know? Like how could someone I may or may not know be impacted because I said a prayer for them? How have I been healed or strengthened due to someone else praying for me? This was such a humbling thought.

So, I started praying more. This doesn't mean I've been praying better. But I have been remembering the verse in Philippians 4:6 that says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Present your requests to God. God wants to hear what's on our hearts, He wants to hear our requests, He wants us to give Him our concerns and fears and dreams. I've never been great with this, because I figured that I didn't need to pray for certain things because God already knows my heart. But that doesn't mean He doesn't want me to ask for whatever I need. And that's what I've been trying to do, not just for myself but for people around me as well. Sometimes, I just ask Him, "God please help me get through this class without complaining; help me shine Your light." That's all it takes, and that's what He wants. Every time we reach to Him, through prayer, His presence is that much stronger in our hearts. I've also been trying to pray for certain people right as they pop into my mind.

Romans 12:12 is an encouraging reminder when it feels our prayers are going to waste: "[Love is] joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer," I often feel that my prayers aren't being heard because I don't see any change or difference in those I'm praying for. But through this little journey, I've seen a change in my own heart. See, the more you pray for others, put them before yourself, the less concerned you are with all the 'needs' of your life. It reminds you that everyone struggles...and that just because someone messed up doesn't mean they're a bad person or unworthy of the effort of your prayer. It's humbling to see healing in my own heart can occur by praying for someone else. It just changes your whole attitude.  


It's hard for me to watch friends falling away from what they seemed to believe for so long. And in my heart, I really want to fix these situations. But I can't. That is God's job. When I want to try and rebuild those bridges or mend those friendships, I have to remember that it's all in God's timing. When I know someone's hurting, and that they need encouragement, but I can't get to them, I can pray. That has probably been my biggest revelation in this: it doesn't really matter what I can't do for someone, as long as I do what I can with all the love in my heart. I can only pray for certain people I know, but I know that if I do this with love, and genuine effort, that's all God needs to see. I know my job is to show others love, so if prayer is my only means of doing that, then I'm good to go.

I have to remind myself not to grow weary in this habit of prayer (2 Corinthians 8:11-12, 9:6-7, and Galatians 6:9), because eventually it will produce a result. And I have to remember that there is no stupid, irrelevant, unimportant prayer to God. Colossians 4:2 tells us to devote ourselves to prayer.

Remember that life is not about being perfect. It's about our heart and our efforts. You don't have to sit and pray for two straight hours every day. But little snippets here and there really can make a big difference in your heart and attitude. There really is amazing power in prayer.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

One Love

I really, really, truly want to give God control of everything in my life. And I don't know quite what I'm heading toward here, except something in writing to remind myself of my own expectations, specifically in the area of "more than friends" relationships. I know God is preparing me, and teaching me, and I can't ignore this feeling in my heart that I know is Him speaking to me.
               


Now, let me say right away: I am not hunting down any sort of romantic relationship. I want only God's will for my life, and that includes Him deciding who I date and when. But at this very moment in time, I am having a hard time spitting out the most important thought in my mind: If you are not strong in your walk with the Lord, and are not in a position to take responsibility of the role of spiritual leader in your relationship with me, then stop where you are. Feel free to think about calling me when you are ready, but if that isn't happening now, then you need to figure it out.

I cannot compromise myself when it comes to this necessity. I can not and will not pursue a relationship with someone who is not actively pursuing the Lord first, and who isn't ready to be the godly leader I need. I need to remember that this is a non-negotiable. I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and protect myself. The Bible states very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers". DON'T DO IT. Because eventually it will cost more than you bargained for.

I know personally I have trouble with living this out sometimes in the sense that I think I can fix people; and because I'm sometimes flirty without intending to be, which isn't fair to anyone.  But I have to remember that it's not my job to change people. Only God can work in their hearts. So I have to continue to give Him control. 

Ladies, don't trust words- trust actions. Trust honesty, and respect, and caring. Don't compromise.

A helpful links: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-guys-you-should-never-date 

Always What I Need

"Come to Me when you are weak and weary...I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.
Do not compare yourself to others who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours... I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it." ~Jesus Calling, August 12, 2014.

Today (yesterday at this point) was the first day of school, and as we were getting ready to leave, I wanted to make sure I didn't forget to at least read my devotional before I started my day- because I had a feeling it was going to be good.

Of course with the first day of school comes the jitters and the better-than-usual, more-effort hair, make-up, and outfit. And the doubts and insecurities too: "What if everyone looks better than I do?" "This pimple is HUGE." "What if I have no friends?" Or not, but you get the idea.

As I was getting ready to head out the door, feeling confident and a bit nervous, this days' devo was just what I needed.

First, "Come to Me when you are weak and weary". *Inhales comforting breath and reminder* The end of last school year was rough in the sense that I didn't really want to be there; people bothered and annoyed me, and quite frankly I wanted to be left alone (or just go home). I often found myself with a bad attitude and would forget to ask God to help me and give me strength. ^What a great reminder for a fresh year.

Then, "Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been". I am not perfect. God understands my heart and my needs. He knows the weird, awkward-feeling times I went through. And He wants me to learn from them.

"Do not compare yourself with others".

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.

Hello? Need I say more? This is the first day of school people, you know what I'm saying.
God had me read this for a reason.

God is molding us through our hurt, awkwardness, insecurities, and doubt. But we have to let him take those burdens from us to use them for our good. He wants to bless us. <3

What Are Our Desires?

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

I have read this many times in my life. Most of those times I heard something to the extent of "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will answer all your prayers" or "and He will give you all the things you want" or "and He will make your dreams come true".  Or some variation of that idea. I can't be the only one; that is what the verse seems to be saying at a first glance. And as a kid, that makes the most sense.

Luke 11:9-10 presents a similar idea : "'So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.'"

Again, a first thought was probably like "So if I pray for it, I'll get it" or "If I look for these friends, or these designer boots I'll get them, because I want them. No; I need them".  Or whatever things we felt was missing from our lives when we read these verses.

First looking at them, these two verses seem to imply that if we pray better or love God better or read our Bibles with more purpose, that God will in-turn love us more and give us everything we want. Which is definitely not the case. Sorry. His love for us never changes- it is always great.

During church a long time ago, the true idea of this Psalm was explained to me/ my class, and it made sense once I heard it. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, we learn His love and truths, and ultimate control and understanding of the whole universe, and we come to know His heart. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He changes the desires of our hearts.He molds our wants and desires, shaping them as we draw near to Him, to look more and more like His desires for our lives. When we delight in the Lord, with our hearts in-line with His and His will for our lives, His desires become our desires.

So when we are close to God, the things He wants for us become what we want as well. Getting the desires of our hearts becomes a whole lot easier when they're not our material desires, and when we remember that God already knows our hearts. <3

I'm Just Katie

I don't know why I am ever surprised at the ways God works.

Just three days ago, I was feeling discouraged about a situation that I felt I was unable to let go of. Go ahead and look back through older posts and see if you can put it together;). I was upset because I was feeling stuck. And I was frustrated because I am not the best, or most experienced, at having to wait for direction.

And so, I wrote. And then the next morning I was with my mom going to yard sales. We talked about what I'd written, and what I was feeling. And while what we were discussing was nothing I hadn't heard or knew for myself, it was refreshing to hear my words reiterated. I think that was just what I needed; not just to talk about what was on my heart, but hearing someone else say it out loud. You know? Knowing that it wasn't just me or my imagination that felt this way or knew these facts. I just needed some back-up. 

But that's not where I'm going with this. 

*Announcement* 

I have let it go. 

*Happy dance*

And it feels so good. But I want to say one very important thing that I believe is the main reason I felt so conflicted. You ready? (Btw, I knew this in my heart for a loong time, but it didn't click until I was able to put it in words). Moving on does not mean you don't care. Letting go doesn't mean I can't be concerned for the aftermath of the situation. But it does mean I'm not letting it control my emotions anymore. Because I'm done. 

If you haven't figured it out, yes, I am talking about the break-up I posted on a few months ago. Let's just be honest here. 

I think that's one thing about losing a friend that people get, but they don't get: You know it will take time to get over it. You do. But let's be honest, you aren't really going to be able to do anything about it until you're so sick of that taking up the majority of your thoughts. It is exhausting. You know the truths you say over and over as you try and move on, but that don't have any meaning until you can live them out; "I don't want to forget"- you won't. "But I don't get how they could just let it end like that"- well they did, and you can't do anything about it. I was so stuck on the memories, that I couldn't accept what I'd been watching happen for months.

I know you know it, too. 

I've known the truth all along. I knew what happened, I knew it wasn't going to change, and I knew I had to get over it. But I was trying so hard to rush it. Obviously it wasn't meant to happen yet, and now it has. I knew it would take time, but man... ugh. You really have to take it one step at a time. You can't move on until you learn and accept other things first (again, look through my posts). 

I feel wonderful. It's a relief to have this portion of my journey over with. That's not to say it wasn't important, because it so was. I have learned more than I ever could have if none of this mess had ever happened. But I think the most satisfying part, is that I can finally say "I am okay". I'm done, and I am okay. I'm okay with what happened and that I don't have to be involved. Most importantly, I think it's safe to say, that I feel okay with just being me again. Throughout these months, I've had to figure out who I am without anyone else; without school or friends or boys. It's all good. I don't need to be 'So&So and Katie', or Cross Country Katie, or Smart Girl Katie. 

I'm just Katie. 

And that's okay. <3

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." ~Psalm 34:4-5

God's Got This

As another late night ( for me anyway) begins, I am again kept awake by my never-ending train of thoughts. The 'what-ifs' and 'whys?' and "why can't I just finally let this go?'. After several minutes of this, I remembered that on many past similar nights, that only thing that could quiet my thoughts was reading my Bible. I never go to one passage in particular, but flip through pages, looking through things I've underlined. And I always find some small, comforting verse that calms my heart (at least enough to fall asleep). Although I've read this many, many times before, a new idea came with Psalm 34:18 : "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit". 

Like I said, I've read this many times before and always find some comfort from it. Tonight though I realized in a more firm sense, that God knows our frustrations. He understands how hard it is for us to let certain things go. I find myself upset because I feel like I'm stuck in one spot, or constantly taking two steps forward and one step back. God gets it. Sometimes I feel like I have to let it go. Other times I wonder if I really am supposed to just wait, and maybe that's why I can't let go...? Since I'm not really being pointed in any other direction.

 I pray and pray that I will be able to heal and find strength in certain areas, and still my thoughts always wander back to the questions and memories. But God is walking with me through this, holding my hand. He knows my heart, and my hurt and frustrations. And He most certainly is not upset with me because of where I am. He's not mad because I can't seem to fully trust Him by letting go of these things or people. He's not angry that I can't move on. He is gently waiting for me to learn on my own. Through my small personal dramas, I really am learning. One step at a time (but seriously, these are major baby-steps) I am figuring it out. I just get discouraged because I've never had to wait like this before, for direction or guidance, or just an answer in general. But then again, many things have not touched my heart the way this particular thing has.

God is not tapping His foot and muttering "Come ON Katie, it's not that hard. Let's move it". He's waiting patiently for me. Thanks God.

So, with another mini-revelation, I remember that God has this under control. I shouldn't be so hard on myself because really, I've never done this before. I really am learning as I go.
It's all good.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you". ~Psalm 32:8

What About Me?

Today as I was sitting in church, God spoke to my heart. The main idea I got from the lesson was how forgiveness strengthens my relationship with God. When I acknowledge my sin and confess it, asking for forgiveness, that opens up my heart and life to become closer to God. That I and everyone else, am responsible for my own heart. I am responsible for my actions and thoughts, and my attitude.

Through the service (and through many past services), I sat and thought about how this idea applied to people I know. That their sin and mistakes were so obvious, how could they not realize that this message was just for them? I listed out one person's actions in particular in my mind and thought about all the ways they had hurt me; all the things they had done against me and how they had affected me in negative ways. How I had never done anything to them, and that I didn't deserve what had happened to me. That I deserve better.

When we were asked to take a look at our own hearts and the sin in our own lives, my go-to response was ready: "well I haven't done anything wrong."  Excuse me? Did I really just think that? You bet. And honestly I have many times before. Maybe not in that obvious a way, but still. Seriously though, throughout my life, when I've been asked to look at my own sin, this is often what I think. And when I personally think this, I am addressing the idea of obvious, sin with intention. When I think I haven't sinned, I am thinking that I have not purposefully gone against God in some physical action.

But what about my heart? And the thing that got my attention: what about my attitude? As I'm sitting listing off other's mistakes, what about me? I am responsible for my own heart. Why am I sitting here putting blame onto other people, instead of looking at my own issues?

I was brought to tears when I realized that I was not showing God's love in any way toward the person mentioned above. Many times I accused and blamed this person, only paying attention to how they had hurt me. Only thinking about myself, and how I was affected by their actions. How targeted I was, how broken I was, blah blah blah. How could I be so selfish? I've realized very recently that I need to stop worrying about their actions, and try to understand why they did what they did. I should be looking at their heart and showing compassion. I should be praying for them, and showing them love.

Love. That is where I was/ am lacking with this person. Because I was so focused on healing my own heart, I didn't even think about the hurt and confusion this person may be going through. I cannot judge their motives. I can only love them, even if it has to be from a distance. I have not been kind. I have not been polite, or forgiving, or patient. I have been rude and angry, and quick to blame. While I am not excusing their actions, I have no right to judge them either. I sure wouldn't want to be treated the way I have been treating this person.

I am truly sorry.

I need to take care of my own heart before I go criticizing someone else's. 

You are Valuable, and Your Virginity is a Treasure

"There is a dullness, monotony, sheer boredom in all of life when virginity and purity are no longer protected and prized. By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere." ~Elisabeth Elliot

Recently, and more often as each day goes by, I notice how very little respect our culture has for themselves and their purity. Virginity is seen as a "bad word", and we're told to truly become a man or woman we have to get rid of it ASAP. Every day girls and guys are bombarded with inappropriate images, songs, and t.v. shows that justify and excuse casual sexual relationships, implying that it is okay to do what you want and give into temptation. Our culture does not value sexual integrity and purity. Instead it values instant gratification and pleasure. But with that pleasure comes many consequences that are often not considered when decisions need to made; will you say yes or no to the temptation?

"'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is constructive" ~1 Corinthians 10:23. Just because we can get away with almost anything (ie. sex, drugs, alcohol), doesn't mean that it is okay for us to do.

Purity is not just a physical process- it is mental, emotional, and spiritual as well. While we need to honor our bodies, we also need to protect our minds and emotions. The consequences that can come from premarital sex are not just physical, such as STD's or pregnancy. They can also be emotional, causing baggage for future relationships, maybe leading to trust or self-image issues, and regret. Also present will be mental and spiritual consequences. Giving in to sex, or other temptations like porn, can also cause different kinds of addictions. Those addictions become spiritual strongholds, where the devil gains control of your heart and mind a bit at a time.

"...Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship." ~Romans 12:1

Purity and lust are issues for everyone, guys and girls. It's sad to think about the struggle that your friends and family may be dealing with living with the junk society puts out for us. While guys are stimulated visually and physically, girls are stimulated emotionally, so the triggers for temptation vary. If everyone works to protect themselves though, there won't be issues so many issues having to avoid temptation.

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control [your] own body in a way that is holy and honorable.."~1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.

You are a valuable treasure in God's eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and your virginity is a gift; that you can only give away once.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says," Flee from sexual immorality...Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." We need to RUN away from any sort of sexual action or temptation; put yourself far, far away from it to keep it from coming back into your mind and life, because "the spirit is willing, but the body is weak," (Matthew 26:41).

We need to honor God and ourselves by protecting one of our most valuable gifts, and simply save sex for marriage.

Sex was designed by God to take place only inside of a marriage between a husband and wife. And God has one person picked out just for you to share your life with. One person. So until you're married you need to honor the Lord with your body. Purity takes care of that, and saves you for the one person you are meant to spend your life with. By staying pure and valuing this treasure you have, you are also saying something to your future spouse. You're telling them that you are waiting for them.  And you're telling them, even now, that you love and value them, because you're willing to wait.

If you are struggling with sexual temptation, know you can overcome it, and you are not alone. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 tells us," So if you think that you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." It's encouraging to know that God can provide ways to escape, especially when we know that He has gone through the same struggle > "Because He himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted... [God] has been tempted in every way just as we are-yet was without sin" ~Hebrews 2:18, 4:15b.  Also know that when temptations arise, they are not coming from God- "When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed..." ~James 1:13-14. 

You can overcome the fight to protect your virginity, you just have to be willing. Don't give in to the pressure of society- it's not worth it.Don't be discouraged. God loves you more than anything in this world and He doesn't want you to get hurt. He saves us from trouble because He loves us more than we can ever imagine (Psalm 18:19). In a world full of sin, be the shining light. Treasure who you are, and treasure your purity. <3

If you have already given away your gift of your virginity, or it has been taken from you as a result of some sort of sexual abuse, know that there can be healing. If you are willing to now offer your body to God, and obey Him, you can become pure again, and God understands your heart. You can talk to a responsible, Christian adult you know about how to do this. 

(The books referenced in this post were: The Holy Bible, NIV;  "Every Young Women's Battle"; and "And the Bride Wore White, Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity").  

Clean Sweep

"...I am working my ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being. My main work is to clear out debris and clutter, making room for My Spirit to take full possession. Collaborate with me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything I choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that abundantly..." ~Jesus Calling, November 7. 

This devotion spoke to me very deeply on the morning that I read it. Not knowing where certain relationships were headed, I was a mess, but trying to trust God. This was a huge hint to me, that God was telling me to let go. While I was scared, this gave me a sense of peace. It was another reminder that God has a plan, and He knows exactly what He is doing. I needed to be willing for Him to take people away from me, so that I could grow closer to Him. This is still in the process of happening, so I still don't know where it's going. But I can't fight God's plan- He is protecting me. 

God will make it loud and clear when we need to get rid of or let go of relationships or things that are not positively influencing our lives. And He will do whatever it takes to get our attention- listen up. 

                                          

Just Try

"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence..." ~Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young (November 1).

On the morning I read this, I thought it was sweet, just what I needed, like this devotional is every day. I didn't really think much of it. Later on though, I actually remembered what it said. Usually I wouldn't think twice about what I read, but I was reminded of this one very randomly. I was brought to tears as I remembered this passage. God spoke to my heart, and reminded me that our efforts to grow in Him do not go unnoticed. He hears our cries and understands our longing to be close to Him. When I feel lame because I can't pay attention while reading my Bible, or when I miss an opportunity to thank Him, God knows that I am trying. He knows that I get distracted and tempted, but all He cares about is that I am trying. He loves that. And He notices my growth and increasing strength as I learn to rely on Him in everything. It was comforting to be reminded that God pays attention. He loves us and He loves that we love Him.

God is always right by our side. He is very aware of the struggles we are going through- He's always known that they would happen. He is guiding us through our darkest days, and comforting us when we feel most alone. Sometimes, I ask Him simply to give me strength to get through the day. Sometimes that is all I can ask for, because that's all I need.

Waiting

It's okay to be upset sometimes. It's okay to cry and question why something is happening. As long as you don't live your life like that and make it a recurring thing. Sometimes hard things have to happen to show us how blessed we really are, and to show us that we shouldn't take anything for granted. Remember: it could be worse. Things will get better- God has got everything under control.

I have to remember when things may get tough, that it will all work out, and God will give me the strength and patience I need to get through it. If it's really supposed to happen it will. I will wait. I have to remember that God is preparing me and/or protecting me from something that I know nothing about. I just have to remember that- this is happening for my good- to teach me something. I can't see it now, and may not understand it for a while, but I know that God will not give me more than I can handle. And He will give me the strength to get through it.

I don't like not knowing what's going on, or what is going to happen. I have to remind myself that there is always more to things than meets the eye. There's probably more going on than I would understand... I try to be understanding; I think that's an important quality. But being understanding doesn't mean letting people walk all over me. I think it's important for people to remember that at a certain point, they have a choice to make. Right now, I'm waiting. But if God shows me that I need to do otherwise, then that's what I'll need to do. That is hard for me to process because I don't want things to go differently; they were going great.

I need to remember that it's not all about me. I'm not the problem most of the time, even if I think I am. So I shouldn't worry. And if things are getting tough in life, you shouldn't worry either.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah  29:11 <3

Don't Try Fixing Something That's Not Broken

This quote has helped me get through many different situations. Throughout my life, I have been an over-thinker. Often times when I think through scenarios, I go too far, and end up making up something that didn't really happen, based on the questions in my heart that I need answered. Then I worry about these non-existent problems and forget that what I'm anxious about probably isn't really a problem. Over-thinking makes things worse than they really are, because you twist things up and end up getting upset about something completely unnecessary.

In one situation earlier this year, I was feeling confused and unsure about certain things. I was creating feelings that weren't true, and causing myself to feel anxious. I took a week or two for me to realize that these feelings could not be true, because God is not a God of confusion but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). These thoughts I was having weren't having a positive effect on me, and they definitely weren't bringing me peace. I had forgotten how blessed I was, and that what I had was great, and I had no reason to worry. These feelings of doubt were coming from Satan, and had the potential to ruin a good thing. Satan can't stand when good things happen to us; when we are given true blessings, like friends who make us better people, and love us for who we are. I realized that what I had was truly great, and didn't happen very often. Once I realized the truth and was able to recognize the lies I had been believing, I was able to feel peace; God is a god of peace.

My patience is being tested once again. I am again having to give things to God, and not worry about what I may be able to do about them. I don't need to know all the details, and I don't have to fix everything. God has a plan.

I do better not thinking about certain things at all. I have to let things deal with themselves, and run their course.

It could be worse. Don't worry <3 (Matthew 6:34).

Sanctus Real - Pray (Official Lyrics)

This song sings the words I've felt so many times, but couldn't find in my heart to let Him know. God knows our hearts and needs, and every single part of us. He's always with us, and always hears the words we say, and the longing we may feel. We simply have to come to Him- He never walks away from us, we walk away from Him. So we can't blame Him when things go wrong, we can only draw near to Him and find comfort in His loving arms.
 "I bow my head to pray, I don't know what to say, I'm not sure how to fix the things I'm dealing with...And though I'm silent my heart is crying...So, I pray. God I need you more than words can say, right here in this moment."
This song is so simple, with no "hidden meaning" behind the words. Sometimes we don't know what to say or do, and God knows that. He knows our heart, we just have to come to Him, and ask for His help and guidance. He will never leave us, or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). <3