Clean Sweep

"...I am working my ways in you: the divine Artist creating loveliness within your being. My main work is to clear out debris and clutter, making room for My Spirit to take full possession. Collaborate with me in this effort by being willing to let go of anything I choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that abundantly..." ~Jesus Calling, November 7. 

This devotion spoke to me very deeply on the morning that I read it. Not knowing where certain relationships were headed, I was a mess, but trying to trust God. This was a huge hint to me, that God was telling me to let go. While I was scared, this gave me a sense of peace. It was another reminder that God has a plan, and He knows exactly what He is doing. I needed to be willing for Him to take people away from me, so that I could grow closer to Him. This is still in the process of happening, so I still don't know where it's going. But I can't fight God's plan- He is protecting me. 

God will make it loud and clear when we need to get rid of or let go of relationships or things that are not positively influencing our lives. And He will do whatever it takes to get our attention- listen up. 

                                          

Just Try

"Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal; you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence..." ~Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young (November 1).

On the morning I read this, I thought it was sweet, just what I needed, like this devotional is every day. I didn't really think much of it. Later on though, I actually remembered what it said. Usually I wouldn't think twice about what I read, but I was reminded of this one very randomly. I was brought to tears as I remembered this passage. God spoke to my heart, and reminded me that our efforts to grow in Him do not go unnoticed. He hears our cries and understands our longing to be close to Him. When I feel lame because I can't pay attention while reading my Bible, or when I miss an opportunity to thank Him, God knows that I am trying. He knows that I get distracted and tempted, but all He cares about is that I am trying. He loves that. And He notices my growth and increasing strength as I learn to rely on Him in everything. It was comforting to be reminded that God pays attention. He loves us and He loves that we love Him.

God is always right by our side. He is very aware of the struggles we are going through- He's always known that they would happen. He is guiding us through our darkest days, and comforting us when we feel most alone. Sometimes, I ask Him simply to give me strength to get through the day. Sometimes that is all I can ask for, because that's all I need.

Sometimes God's Blessings Are In What He Takes Away...

It hurts to be rejected. It hurts to have someone you care about walk away. When you experience a loss (ie. a death, break-up etc.), it is okay to to be upset. It is okay to be hurt, and angry, and confused. I definitely am.

I've just experienced an important loss. Going through my first break-up I have never felt the awkwardness I've been going through recently. I don't want to sound like a "distraught ex-girlfriend", but the situation is harder than even the movies make it look. The past three or so weeks, I have repeatedly gone through an emotional cycle: Feeling okay and confident, mad and angry, upset and hurt. The feelings come and go so randomly, and make me feel like a mess.   I will be doing great, feeling good and confident about who I am, and then I will have a random memory and suddenly tear up.

I know God is allowing this to happen for a reason; He is protecting me from something. He has a great plan for my heart and life, that I have no idea about. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Since this is my first time going through this, I'm still trying to figure it out. I have a lot of questions that may not ever be answered. And that's okay.

I want to be very upset and angry because of this situation, but I'm not. I'm sad for him, because he lost a good thing, and is going to have to learn a hard lesson through this. My heart is broken for him.

I am going to be okay. And really, in the grand scheme of things, I am okay. But I'm broken. God is the only thing that can put me back together; and that's what He wants. He's drawing me closer to Him through this, and preparing me for what's to come. He has someone absolutely amazing waiting for me. And I can't wait to meet him. <3