Since about the eighth grade, all I've wanted was to have flat, semi-defined abs (and toned thighs). I don't think this is an unrealistic goal. I've come close a few times, but am always dragged away by my love of food and lack of self-control.
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| Being 5'2" and muscular, my build has never been itty-bitty |
I've always been pretty fit, never having trouble running a few miles or playing a game of ultimate frisbee. I mean, I am a cross-country runner. But I go through phases where I lose motivation to take care of myself physically (usually right after XC season is over and I just want a break). Paired with my food-love, these phases quickly turn into discouraging weight gain. Now, with my short-self, the pounds that I have gained in the past are a big deal. I'm not trying to discount anyone else's gains or losses, but personally, this situation was unacceptable, because I watched it happen and didn't do anything.
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| My attitude towards food. |
Confession: I am an emotional eater. I eat for comfort. Factor in school stress, a break-up, and discouragement/fear about facing this current school-year without my best friend, and you find 10 pounds. Yes, during my junior year, I gained 10 pounds. And I proceeded to work very hard to lose those 10 pounds. However, I did this primarily through restricting calories. I didn't deny myself food, but this was the only way I knew that would quickly eliminate the weight I'd gained.
Despite being back down to my original weight, I still didn't look the way I wanted (remember: abs). Even with running all summer to prepare for cross country, and going into the season once school began, I still didn't have my abs. Fast-forward three months, XC is over, and I stop running.
Confession #2: I gained the weight back.
Why am I telling you this? You probably never noticed, because if I do say so myself, I'm good at hiding it. You don't see me eat junk, how could I have re-gained 10 pounds? Because I ate like crap at home: remember that lack of self-control? Yeah, those four bowls of cereal and five granola bars and spoons of Nutella remember too.
And so I am beginning my health/fitness journey once again. This time however, I'm going in with a new mindset. Because abs are made in the kitchen (and since that is my primary goal), I have to remember: I don't have to eat less, I just have to eat better. When I eat good quality, healthy foods, my body responds by using those calories and energy in my favor. And I am so serious, abs are really made in the kitchen. You will not understand until you try this. In one week, I have lost a pound and a half, with minor exercise (some cardio, some weight, and ab work every day), and healthy food. And I have to say, my stomach is already more flat. And I'm not even close to finished. Once school is over, I will be focusing primarily on weight training.
"No discipline seem pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." ~Hebrews 12:11
This verse is my new best friend. I've always thought it was referring to discipline as in like punishment for disobeying your parents or something (which it may), but now I see it as a reminder to keep pushing, and encouragement to take care of my body. My goals are not always going to come easily. I have to work hard for what I want.
Food is meant to be fuel for your body, not comfort. It's not bad if food is comforting, but that shouldn't be why we eat. You can't deny yourself treats every now and then or you'll binge, but self-control is key.
I need you guys to help me stay motivated, and keep me accountable. I'm putting this out in the open because everyone struggles, and we need to be able to talk about it. I'll try and post some updates now and then to let you know how it's going. Seriously though, I'll need encouragement. You can do it too. You just have to start:)
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| #goals |
