One Love

I really, really, truly want to give God control of everything in my life. And I don't know quite what I'm heading toward here, except something in writing to remind myself of my own expectations, specifically in the area of "more than friends" relationships. I know God is preparing me, and teaching me, and I can't ignore this feeling in my heart that I know is Him speaking to me.
               


Now, let me say right away: I am not hunting down any sort of romantic relationship. I want only God's will for my life, and that includes Him deciding who I date and when. But at this very moment in time, I am having a hard time spitting out the most important thought in my mind: If you are not strong in your walk with the Lord, and are not in a position to take responsibility of the role of spiritual leader in your relationship with me, then stop where you are. Feel free to think about calling me when you are ready, but if that isn't happening now, then you need to figure it out.

I cannot compromise myself when it comes to this necessity. I can not and will not pursue a relationship with someone who is not actively pursuing the Lord first, and who isn't ready to be the godly leader I need. I need to remember that this is a non-negotiable. I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and protect myself. The Bible states very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers". DON'T DO IT. Because eventually it will cost more than you bargained for.

I know personally I have trouble with living this out sometimes in the sense that I think I can fix people; and because I'm sometimes flirty without intending to be, which isn't fair to anyone.  But I have to remember that it's not my job to change people. Only God can work in their hearts. So I have to continue to give Him control. 

Ladies, don't trust words- trust actions. Trust honesty, and respect, and caring. Don't compromise.

A helpful links: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-guys-you-should-never-date 

Not to Worry Darling

Okay, so. It starts again.
I knew it was coming too- every year after school starts, I begin to feel a bit left-out when it comes to homecoming and couples and all that lovey-dovey stuff. Everyone is going out and looking cute and taking pictures. And then there's me standing...with myself. Alone. It helps a lot when I'm told that it doesn't make sense I'm single. And I'm like "that's what I'm saying". I start to get down on myself, questioning what is wrong with me, and after some deep looking-staring out my window-stuff, I am reminded of two things:

1. I am not single because boys don't find me attractive. I think it's because they're scared of me. Just kidding (but seriously). No, I am single because because I have very high standards and expectations of guys and relationships, and I make those clear to everyone in the way I live and present myself. I expect to be respected and anyone who knows me understands this. And I know it can been seen as intimidating. If a guy isn't willing to step up to the plate, though, then what's the point anyway? I shouldn't have to make it easy. So I don't know why I let myself think that I'm the problem.



Because I know there really is no problem, which leads into my next point.

2. God is preparing me. He is preparing My Man. He's teaching us, readying us. I am single because He is not ready to share me yet. He's letting the details fall into place, and through my doubt, He is most definitely teaching me patience. I am obviously needing to learn how to wait. And it's not fair of me to expect any guy to be ready to handle my crazy self (yet).

Short and sweet, but my question is WHY CAN'T I JUST FIGURE THIS OUT AND REMEMBER IT? It's not that complicated. I know everything above^. I do. So the next time I start to have a little pity-party, feel free to tell me to take my own advice and read my blog.

Always What I Need

"Come to Me when you are weak and weary...I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.
Do not compare yourself to others who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours... I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it." ~Jesus Calling, August 12, 2014.

Today (yesterday at this point) was the first day of school, and as we were getting ready to leave, I wanted to make sure I didn't forget to at least read my devotional before I started my day- because I had a feeling it was going to be good.

Of course with the first day of school comes the jitters and the better-than-usual, more-effort hair, make-up, and outfit. And the doubts and insecurities too: "What if everyone looks better than I do?" "This pimple is HUGE." "What if I have no friends?" Or not, but you get the idea.

As I was getting ready to head out the door, feeling confident and a bit nervous, this days' devo was just what I needed.

First, "Come to Me when you are weak and weary". *Inhales comforting breath and reminder* The end of last school year was rough in the sense that I didn't really want to be there; people bothered and annoyed me, and quite frankly I wanted to be left alone (or just go home). I often found myself with a bad attitude and would forget to ask God to help me and give me strength. ^What a great reminder for a fresh year.

Then, "Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been". I am not perfect. God understands my heart and my needs. He knows the weird, awkward-feeling times I went through. And He wants me to learn from them.

"Do not compare yourself with others".

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.

Hello? Need I say more? This is the first day of school people, you know what I'm saying.
God had me read this for a reason.

God is molding us through our hurt, awkwardness, insecurities, and doubt. But we have to let him take those burdens from us to use them for our good. He wants to bless us. <3

What Are Our Desires?

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

I have read this many times in my life. Most of those times I heard something to the extent of "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will answer all your prayers" or "and He will give you all the things you want" or "and He will make your dreams come true".  Or some variation of that idea. I can't be the only one; that is what the verse seems to be saying at a first glance. And as a kid, that makes the most sense.

Luke 11:9-10 presents a similar idea : "'So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.'"

Again, a first thought was probably like "So if I pray for it, I'll get it" or "If I look for these friends, or these designer boots I'll get them, because I want them. No; I need them".  Or whatever things we felt was missing from our lives when we read these verses.

First looking at them, these two verses seem to imply that if we pray better or love God better or read our Bibles with more purpose, that God will in-turn love us more and give us everything we want. Which is definitely not the case. Sorry. His love for us never changes- it is always great.

During church a long time ago, the true idea of this Psalm was explained to me/ my class, and it made sense once I heard it. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, we learn His love and truths, and ultimate control and understanding of the whole universe, and we come to know His heart. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He changes the desires of our hearts.He molds our wants and desires, shaping them as we draw near to Him, to look more and more like His desires for our lives. When we delight in the Lord, with our hearts in-line with His and His will for our lives, His desires become our desires.

So when we are close to God, the things He wants for us become what we want as well. Getting the desires of our hearts becomes a whole lot easier when they're not our material desires, and when we remember that God already knows our hearts. <3

I'm Just Katie

I don't know why I am ever surprised at the ways God works.

Just three days ago, I was feeling discouraged about a situation that I felt I was unable to let go of. Go ahead and look back through older posts and see if you can put it together;). I was upset because I was feeling stuck. And I was frustrated because I am not the best, or most experienced, at having to wait for direction.

And so, I wrote. And then the next morning I was with my mom going to yard sales. We talked about what I'd written, and what I was feeling. And while what we were discussing was nothing I hadn't heard or knew for myself, it was refreshing to hear my words reiterated. I think that was just what I needed; not just to talk about what was on my heart, but hearing someone else say it out loud. You know? Knowing that it wasn't just me or my imagination that felt this way or knew these facts. I just needed some back-up. 

But that's not where I'm going with this. 

*Announcement* 

I have let it go. 

*Happy dance*

And it feels so good. But I want to say one very important thing that I believe is the main reason I felt so conflicted. You ready? (Btw, I knew this in my heart for a loong time, but it didn't click until I was able to put it in words). Moving on does not mean you don't care. Letting go doesn't mean I can't be concerned for the aftermath of the situation. But it does mean I'm not letting it control my emotions anymore. Because I'm done. 

If you haven't figured it out, yes, I am talking about the break-up I posted on a few months ago. Let's just be honest here. 

I think that's one thing about losing a friend that people get, but they don't get: You know it will take time to get over it. You do. But let's be honest, you aren't really going to be able to do anything about it until you're so sick of that taking up the majority of your thoughts. It is exhausting. You know the truths you say over and over as you try and move on, but that don't have any meaning until you can live them out; "I don't want to forget"- you won't. "But I don't get how they could just let it end like that"- well they did, and you can't do anything about it. I was so stuck on the memories, that I couldn't accept what I'd been watching happen for months.

I know you know it, too. 

I've known the truth all along. I knew what happened, I knew it wasn't going to change, and I knew I had to get over it. But I was trying so hard to rush it. Obviously it wasn't meant to happen yet, and now it has. I knew it would take time, but man... ugh. You really have to take it one step at a time. You can't move on until you learn and accept other things first (again, look through my posts). 

I feel wonderful. It's a relief to have this portion of my journey over with. That's not to say it wasn't important, because it so was. I have learned more than I ever could have if none of this mess had ever happened. But I think the most satisfying part, is that I can finally say "I am okay". I'm done, and I am okay. I'm okay with what happened and that I don't have to be involved. Most importantly, I think it's safe to say, that I feel okay with just being me again. Throughout these months, I've had to figure out who I am without anyone else; without school or friends or boys. It's all good. I don't need to be 'So&So and Katie', or Cross Country Katie, or Smart Girl Katie. 

I'm just Katie. 

And that's okay. <3

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." ~Psalm 34:4-5

God's Got This

As another late night ( for me anyway) begins, I am again kept awake by my never-ending train of thoughts. The 'what-ifs' and 'whys?' and "why can't I just finally let this go?'. After several minutes of this, I remembered that on many past similar nights, that only thing that could quiet my thoughts was reading my Bible. I never go to one passage in particular, but flip through pages, looking through things I've underlined. And I always find some small, comforting verse that calms my heart (at least enough to fall asleep). Although I've read this many, many times before, a new idea came with Psalm 34:18 : "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit". 

Like I said, I've read this many times before and always find some comfort from it. Tonight though I realized in a more firm sense, that God knows our frustrations. He understands how hard it is for us to let certain things go. I find myself upset because I feel like I'm stuck in one spot, or constantly taking two steps forward and one step back. God gets it. Sometimes I feel like I have to let it go. Other times I wonder if I really am supposed to just wait, and maybe that's why I can't let go...? Since I'm not really being pointed in any other direction.

 I pray and pray that I will be able to heal and find strength in certain areas, and still my thoughts always wander back to the questions and memories. But God is walking with me through this, holding my hand. He knows my heart, and my hurt and frustrations. And He most certainly is not upset with me because of where I am. He's not mad because I can't seem to fully trust Him by letting go of these things or people. He's not angry that I can't move on. He is gently waiting for me to learn on my own. Through my small personal dramas, I really am learning. One step at a time (but seriously, these are major baby-steps) I am figuring it out. I just get discouraged because I've never had to wait like this before, for direction or guidance, or just an answer in general. But then again, many things have not touched my heart the way this particular thing has.

God is not tapping His foot and muttering "Come ON Katie, it's not that hard. Let's move it". He's waiting patiently for me. Thanks God.

So, with another mini-revelation, I remember that God has this under control. I shouldn't be so hard on myself because really, I've never done this before. I really am learning as I go.
It's all good.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you". ~Psalm 32:8

What About Me?

Today as I was sitting in church, God spoke to my heart. The main idea I got from the lesson was how forgiveness strengthens my relationship with God. When I acknowledge my sin and confess it, asking for forgiveness, that opens up my heart and life to become closer to God. That I and everyone else, am responsible for my own heart. I am responsible for my actions and thoughts, and my attitude.

Through the service (and through many past services), I sat and thought about how this idea applied to people I know. That their sin and mistakes were so obvious, how could they not realize that this message was just for them? I listed out one person's actions in particular in my mind and thought about all the ways they had hurt me; all the things they had done against me and how they had affected me in negative ways. How I had never done anything to them, and that I didn't deserve what had happened to me. That I deserve better.

When we were asked to take a look at our own hearts and the sin in our own lives, my go-to response was ready: "well I haven't done anything wrong."  Excuse me? Did I really just think that? You bet. And honestly I have many times before. Maybe not in that obvious a way, but still. Seriously though, throughout my life, when I've been asked to look at my own sin, this is often what I think. And when I personally think this, I am addressing the idea of obvious, sin with intention. When I think I haven't sinned, I am thinking that I have not purposefully gone against God in some physical action.

But what about my heart? And the thing that got my attention: what about my attitude? As I'm sitting listing off other's mistakes, what about me? I am responsible for my own heart. Why am I sitting here putting blame onto other people, instead of looking at my own issues?

I was brought to tears when I realized that I was not showing God's love in any way toward the person mentioned above. Many times I accused and blamed this person, only paying attention to how they had hurt me. Only thinking about myself, and how I was affected by their actions. How targeted I was, how broken I was, blah blah blah. How could I be so selfish? I've realized very recently that I need to stop worrying about their actions, and try to understand why they did what they did. I should be looking at their heart and showing compassion. I should be praying for them, and showing them love.

Love. That is where I was/ am lacking with this person. Because I was so focused on healing my own heart, I didn't even think about the hurt and confusion this person may be going through. I cannot judge their motives. I can only love them, even if it has to be from a distance. I have not been kind. I have not been polite, or forgiving, or patient. I have been rude and angry, and quick to blame. While I am not excusing their actions, I have no right to judge them either. I sure wouldn't want to be treated the way I have been treating this person.

I am truly sorry.

I need to take care of my own heart before I go criticizing someone else's. 

Style Staples- Fashion Inspiration and Essentials

There's no point in denying it: I love clothes. And shoes. And coats. And accessories. And everything remotely related to fashion. But sadly, you can't have it all; although I'd probably be close if I had unlimited cash. So I try and make what I do have super versatile. I love to find inspiration on Pinterest (that's where all my photos are from), and find affordable pieces from yard-sales and sales, recreating outfits and ideas.

There's certain style staples that I find essential (some I am still looking for) that can go with anything and everything, through all seasons. I'm going to go through some of my favorites, and inspirations, to maybe help out anyone who needs guidance. I  am done growing at this point in life, but I still have to remember: you get what you pay for. While most of my clothes last a looong time, sometimes if you want a good-looking, quality piece of clothing you do have to pay a bit more.

            

Coats  are definitely one of my weaknesses. But they're essential for those cold winter days. They are great to layer pieces underneath, and they go with everything. Classic cuts and colors (camel, red, navy) will make the search for the rest of your outfit easy. Make sure you find good-quality to ensure it will last forever.

   

I am hoping to someday make the investment to buy a leather jacket. Lets be honest, they look cool and put together and they go with everything. They're a classic look. I love this outfit on the right because it's just perfect. It has the cute down jacket for when a peacoat isn't quite warm or flexible enough, with cute layers. the black skinny jeans go with everything, and are perfect when denim just won't do. The rainboots are great. They blend in with the bottom of the outfit, but keep your feet dry and warm. The hat and sunglasses speak for themselves. <3

 

I absolutely love my denim jacket. I found it at a yard-sale for 50 cents and I've had it for several years. It's comfy and goes with everything, and is great to wear with some of my colored jeans. Great for layering because it's not heavy. Cardigans are also a must. They are also key for layering (and can go under that denim jacket ;) ). They're great for when you don't really need a jacket, but need something to keep the chill off. You can usually find cardis for pretty cheap, also. 

  

I love both of the outfits in these pictures! So precious. And some inspiration. The one on left is cool because it shows that you can focus on one color in your outfit without being too matchy-matchy. Again, cardigans are versatile, they go with everything. The right pic is a perfect example of layering and that your prints do not have to match (but they will still go). Rainboots bring a nice pop of color, without taking away from the rest of the outfit. 

 

I have worn the outfit on the left a few times and it's a nice twist on a simple look. Instead of having denim on top, move it to the bottom and pair it with black skinnies. Scarves are a great addition to any outfit, especially if you aren't great with a lot of accessories. It like the look in the middle because it's classy and simple. I try to remember that I can always use a nice blouse in an outfit without it having to be fancy. You can always dress-down blouses. Also, the color and peter-pan collar is super cute. I like the outfit on the right because it's a cute, simple, put-together look (again without being fancy). Obviously great for work. The cardi is a nice color, keeping the mood light. The grey pencil skirt looks professional, and if it fits correctly can be pretty comfy. And those pumps. Nude heels are a must. They work with everything, even more casual office looks, and can make your legs look super long. They're just a really classy look.

Ahhhh shoes. My whole closet would be full of shoes if I could afford it. I just love them so much; you can never have too many shoes. Knee-high boots are a must-have for a fall/winter wardrobe. I have a black and brown pair, and they're wonderful. They keep my tootsies warm, and look cute with knee-high socks underneath. And they really pull together any outfit and make it look very chic. Ankle boot are great for when you want that more casual put-together look. I'm looking for a good-quality pair like the ones on the right (above). And, I just really love the Mary-Janes in this picture. They look super comfy, and again, the nude color goes with anything.

Oh accessories. You're a close runner-up to boots for me. But very necessary. This purse is the style I have been looking for for a long time! I saw a woman with one very similar, and it was so cute! I love the crossbody style so that you can always have both hands and arms available, but you still have the short handles. The black is a classic look, because again it goes with everything. Hats. I am learning to love you more and more. Floppy hats are essential for summer, especially is you will be spending your time in the sun and at the beach (that's what I'm hoping to do). They're super cute and keep your face protected at the same time. And knitted hats are super-duper for winter. If you can find one that is a bit floppy, but fitted enough to stay on your head, you've figured it out. So cozy and warm, and add a little personality to every outfit. Scarfs and nail polish. Enough said.

Why Dating May Not Be Worth It (Right Now)

Recently I have noticed, more than usual, how girls long for boys and their attention. Any girl- whether you're 12 or 24 (or 80)- wants to be loved and taken care of by a man. And that's how we girls are raised to feel; that we need a man to be considered valuable. We are raised on fairy tales and Disney movies, where the Princess is *always* saved by the prince (except in Frozen; kudos). I mean, I am all for the idea of being taken care of by my husband and having him be the head of our home, and being a stay-at-home mom. But I also believe that until God opens the door for you to have a significant other, you need to rely on Him first, and everything else will fall into place. We need be okay with being alone, before we can be blessed by new relationships.

But what is love in the world's eyes; Sex? And what makes a man; A guy with a job?  In a Christ-centered relationship, how you love others should be a reflection of Christ. God is love. His sacrifice is love. Compassion and grace and forgiveness is love. And a man, is someone who will love God first, and more than he could ever love you. Someone who will lead by example, and want God's will for both your lives.

I have discovered very recently, that dating in high school isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean yeah, there are great guys out there, and if God blesses you with a boy who will love and take care of you, and is willing to wait on your boundaries, then go ahead and work with that. But let's just accept reality- high school boys are idiots. Especially when they are in groups. They just aren't mature, especially when it comes to relationships; there are too many temptations and distractions. And they have no idea what they want. Girls aren't much better; we are constantly on this emotional roller coaster, and there's always some drama. With that being said, why blend that chaos together?

There are two huge ideas that are often forgotten when dating pops into our young minds:

• We need to have our priorities straight before we go looking for companionship. In order to have a successful relationship with anybody, God needs to be at the top of your list. When you're close with God, you know truth and you know love. And you are able to know what those look like. Then you are able to understand your need for them, and show them to others. Then we need to focus on school. You only go through high school once, and it really is a blessing- don't screw it up and lose focus. And then there's family and friends. Friends, meaning girl friends (guy friends). Like, just friends friends. These are important too, and kids forget about them once they get caught up in the idea that they have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. And ladies, your girl friends will last a lot longer than any boyfriend you will find (and you'll already know who you want your bridesmaids to be ;) ). 

• Date with intent. There is really only one reason to date at all: finding someone to marry. If you think about it, every time you date someone, you're trying to figure out if you could spend the rest of your life with them. Or at least you should be. "Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy, or you take something that isn't yours." It's so true. you're either going to get married or break up. And being in high school, you aren't getting married. But that doesn't mean you should go into relationships with a closed mind; because one relationship will last. You will marry someone. So you need to be open and ready for that path. 

I guess my point is this: focus on school and friends while you can. You have your whole life to date. I'm not saying that I want to be alone forever- nobody does. But be willing to wait. Wait for a guy with all the right qualities. Let's go over some of those, shall we?

First off, he should have a relationship with God. That will solve a lot of issues right off the bat. It says in 2 Corinthians 6 to not be yolked together with unbelievers. It is a lot easier for you to get dragged into sin by a guy who doesn't know God, than to ever be able to change him. So find someone who believes what you do. Next, this guy needs to be an appropriate age. During high school, I don't think you should get involved with someone who is more than a year older than you (two, tops). After you're graduated, that's a different story. You want a guy with goals and dreams. You need to be able to know that he will have a good career someday that will be able to provide for your family. SWAG won't pay the bills in 10 years. You need a guy that's okay with waiting for you. Who is okay with your boundaries, and supports them. If he really loves you, he will still love you when you're finally able to date, or when you're ready to become more serious; it won't be a temporary, all or nothing, relationship. He will follow through on his word, and do what he says. He will want to see you happy, and will treat you with respect. He will treat you like the lady you are, and he will help you find and understand your natural beauty. He should be ready to lead you, and take responsibility for his actions. And he will never want to change anything about you, because he should love you for who you are.
Guys, you also need a girl with the same characteristics and goals.

So, dating is not a bad thing at all. It just may save you a lot of trouble to wait until the end of high school to get into a serious relationship. Dating leads to marriage, and marriage is a beautiful thing. So you don't want to rush into it with the wrong person. God will open all the right doors if you're meant to be with someone. So don't sweat it. <3

*Some great books I have found on these topics: Dateable, For young Women Only, And The Bride Wore White. Also always follow parent's rules, before making decisions about dating yourself.

Blessings in Disguise

Sitting here, I feel like I need to share some of the things I have learned after my first break-up. It's a bit awkward throwing this out there, but I'm hoping this may help anyone else dealing with the same situation. Writing about it, and being honest makes things a lot easier, too.

About five months ago, I went through my first break-up. It came very suddenly and unexpectedly, and definitely threw me for a loop. I was very simply heart-broken. I had been dumped. I lost my best friend, and didn't know how to deal with that new empty space in my life. Honestly, it is somewhat embarrassing to be in that position; it makes you feel like you're 'less-than', in a sense. But at the same time it is very humbling. It makes you realize how fragile people are; how fragile relationships are. And how important it is to communicate. It teaches you a lot about yourself. I'd like to share a bit.

Let's start with the fact, that it is okay to be hurt. It is okay to be mad and upset, and confused. *Perfectly normal* Be honest with yourself about your feelings! Do not sugar-coat them, or justify someone else treating you badly. You are a treasure. A precious Child of God, and you deserve to be treated as such. You deserve to be respected and valued, for the treasure that you are. The key is using those feelings as tools, to grow and learn, and realize you are so much better than than how you were treated. I cannot count how many nights I went to bed in tears, because I missed what I'd lost and didn't know if I had done something wrong, to suddenly lose that relationship. It has been a struggle, and harder than the movies even make it look. Losing something so important to you...makes you reevaluate.

Some key things:

*You cannot move on from the past if you keep dwelling in it. This was especially hard for me, because I am an over-thinker. I analyze things, trying to figure out all the possible reasons how and why it had to happen. THIS GETS YOU NOWHERE. Feel free to talk about it and grieve. Just know when it's time to be quiet. Because every time you think about it before you are 'over it', you are holding yourself back from moving on.

*Remembering is okay. Having things feel bittersweet is okay. It is going to hurt; when that special song comes on the radio, or you smell a scent that takes you back to a certain place, you will tear up. I did many times. Because it hurts to have those memories feel pointless. It hurts to feel like you wasted your efforts and that none of it mattered. But it happened for a reason. Through the whole experience I had to remind myself that God was 1. Protecting me, and 2. Teaching me. I may never understand why it had to happen to me, but I know it was for a reason.

*It is a process. Let me just say, this whole event feels like a lifetime ago. And because of that, it seems like I should have been completely over it much sooner. But it takes time to figure out your heart, and find your most honest feelings and emotion. It's hard to be honest with yourself after you've been hurt.

*Don't be bitter. This won't help anything. I'm not ever going to regret the relationship, because it was exactly what I needed at the time. If you do anything, pray; for yourself and the other person.

Sometimes, losing people is not always a loss. And really, if you were meant to be, eventually you will be. But you can't dwell in the past, and you can't anticipate the future. So don't worry about it- take it one step at a time. If someone was so willing to let you go so easily, then they weren't worth it. And it can always be worse.

Remember, God has got a wonderful plan for your life. Don't rush into things, but be open to change. See brokenness as an opportunity to rebuild yourself. And to learn, and apply new knowledge to your life. Also, now you have the experience to help other people through their hurt. Life is what you make it; embrace the struggles. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11 <3