Dear you,
I know right now you're feeling restless and even a bit scared, though you may never admit it.
You feel lost, like you're wandering around not sure which direction you're headed. The future seems so unclear and new, and you feel like you're going at it all by yourself. You don't understand what your purpose for life is at this point in time, but you're trying to figure it out. When someone asks about your plans, you can't give them a specific answer, and that's unsettling. It seems like everyone else has their whole life figured out.
I know you have some crazy things expected of you, and it's so much pressure trying to live up to all of them. But you don't have to. You are your own person, and you need to go wherever God Leads you; He will give you a direction, you just have to be willing to obey. You have so many talents and skills that will take you far in life, you just have to discover how to use them. You are incredible.
I know you're trying to keep it together so that it looks like you do have it figured out. You are hurting because you've been rejected and feel worthless and insignificant; you're wondering what you did wrong. You're trying to find healing and answers to all your questions, but I have to tell you: the journey takes time. It can be really frustrating, but you have to be really honest with yourself about the situation and your feelings. Don't be afraid to deal with it. If you've lost friends that you didn't mean to, fix it. If you've made mistakes that you regret, correct them. You only have to make the effort.
When you feel like you're about to bust because you need to just say what's on your mind, don't be afraid to let someone know. And if you can't talk to anyone, write it down. Get it out of your system. If you think that you can't talk to someone because it'd be awkward or embarrassing, or you think they don't care, try it anyway. You'll never feel bad for being honest with someone. It feels worse to keep things to yourself, and then wish that you'd have said something.
You really want to be content. You want to know where you're going, and what you're doing with this time. I know it's hard to wait. I'm waiting too. And I don't like it. It's confusing to have these feelings that you don't know what to do with. It almost feels like you're wasting time. But if you're giving it to God, and waiting on Him, nothing is ever a waste of time. Don't be afraid to go out and do what you want. Some people will not understand your need for things, but they don't have to. Some will be uncomfortable with your goals, and may try to stop you- don't listen to them. You won't be happy living the life someone else has planned for you. They'll get over it eventually.
Don't ever dismiss your feelings as stupid or unimportant. You are so valuable. You may not ever see how valuable, but don't forget the impact you can have on everyone you encounter. You are so loved. God has you right where He wants you; He's teaching you, and protecting you. He's preparing you for something you know nothing about yet. Don't be afraid to ask for help, or prayer.
You'll get there. Don't be afraid to take a chance; if you want something to change, you gotta make it change.
Don't get discouraged. You'll make it through; God will guide you and give you strength. You can do it.
You are loved.
Sincerely,
A friend
Friday, May 1, 2015
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Yard Sale Adventures
I have been raised on yard-saling my entire life. And this experience has taught me how to get the best deals and bang-for-my-buck. I don't purchase many items from stores directly, because I am always able to stock up on all I need (and many things I don't 'need') from yard sales.
I love all the treasures I can find when I'm exploring with my mom- she's taught me everything I know about deals and bargaining. And I've learned that I can almost always find what I'm looking for if I am just patient enough to wait for it.
Today was our second excursion of the yard sale season. I found a few treasures that I can finally cross-off my list of 'look-fors'.
Excuse the dirty hat-hair in these pics, but I was wearing a hat for a reason. ;)
First thing, baseball hats! Was only looking to get one, but found two. $1 for both of them, and they were brand new from a guy who had three boxes full.
This top looks awkward with a white cami but it looked the best of what I had. It's Lauren Conrad, and was $1, brand new.
Both of these sweaters are Banana Republic and fit like a glove. Like brand new. $5 for both of them.
This sweater is super soft and comfy, and will go with everything. Thrown in free with the shirts you'll see next.
I got five MSU shirts for $5, all like new. I was looking for some of these since I'll be going there next year, and totally scored with these, and not having to pay full-price. I should be set for a long time.
So anyway, I'm tickled. It was a beautiful day, and I'm thankful for adventures like these with my mom. I still have several things I want to find, but this was my first score of the season. There's always more out there, and it's exciting to find American Eagle jeans or Hollister bathing suit for 50 cents.
Talk soon with more:))
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Helping Myself
Since about the eighth grade, all I've wanted was to have flat, semi-defined abs (and toned thighs). I don't think this is an unrealistic goal. I've come close a few times, but am always dragged away by my love of food and lack of self-control.
I've always been pretty fit, never having trouble running a few miles or playing a game of ultimate frisbee. I mean, I am a cross-country runner. But I go through phases where I lose motivation to take care of myself physically (usually right after XC season is over and I just want a break). Paired with my food-love, these phases quickly turn into discouraging weight gain. Now, with my short-self, the pounds that I have gained in the past are a big deal. I'm not trying to discount anyone else's gains or losses, but personally, this situation was unacceptable, because I watched it happen and didn't do anything.
Confession: I am an emotional eater. I eat for comfort. Factor in school stress, a break-up, and discouragement/fear about facing this current school-year without my best friend, and you find 10 pounds. Yes, during my junior year, I gained 10 pounds. And I proceeded to work very hard to lose those 10 pounds. However, I did this primarily through restricting calories. I didn't deny myself food, but this was the only way I knew that would quickly eliminate the weight I'd gained.
Despite being back down to my original weight, I still didn't look the way I wanted (remember: abs). Even with running all summer to prepare for cross country, and going into the season once school began, I still didn't have my abs. Fast-forward three months, XC is over, and I stop running.
Confession #2: I gained the weight back.
Why am I telling you this? You probably never noticed, because if I do say so myself, I'm good at hiding it. You don't see me eat junk, how could I have re-gained 10 pounds? Because I ate like crap at home: remember that lack of self-control? Yeah, those four bowls of cereal and five granola bars and spoons of Nutella remember too.
And so I am beginning my health/fitness journey once again. This time however, I'm going in with a new mindset. Because abs are made in the kitchen (and since that is my primary goal), I have to remember: I don't have to eat less, I just have to eat better. When I eat good quality, healthy foods, my body responds by using those calories and energy in my favor. And I am so serious, abs are really made in the kitchen. You will not understand until you try this. In one week, I have lost a pound and a half, with minor exercise (some cardio, some weight, and ab work every day), and healthy food. And I have to say, my stomach is already more flat. And I'm not even close to finished. Once school is over, I will be focusing primarily on weight training.
"No discipline seem pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." ~Hebrews 12:11
This verse is my new best friend. I've always thought it was referring to discipline as in like punishment for disobeying your parents or something (which it may), but now I see it as a reminder to keep pushing, and encouragement to take care of my body. My goals are not always going to come easily. I have to work hard for what I want.
Food is meant to be fuel for your body, not comfort. It's not bad if food is comforting, but that shouldn't be why we eat. You can't deny yourself treats every now and then or you'll binge, but self-control is key.
I need you guys to help me stay motivated, and keep me accountable. I'm putting this out in the open because everyone struggles, and we need to be able to talk about it. I'll try and post some updates now and then to let you know how it's going. Seriously though, I'll need encouragement. You can do it too. You just have to start:)
 |
| Being 5'2" and muscular, my build has never been itty-bitty |
 |
| My attitude towards food. |
Confession: I am an emotional eater. I eat for comfort. Factor in school stress, a break-up, and discouragement/fear about facing this current school-year without my best friend, and you find 10 pounds. Yes, during my junior year, I gained 10 pounds. And I proceeded to work very hard to lose those 10 pounds. However, I did this primarily through restricting calories. I didn't deny myself food, but this was the only way I knew that would quickly eliminate the weight I'd gained.
Despite being back down to my original weight, I still didn't look the way I wanted (remember: abs). Even with running all summer to prepare for cross country, and going into the season once school began, I still didn't have my abs. Fast-forward three months, XC is over, and I stop running.
Confession #2: I gained the weight back.
Why am I telling you this? You probably never noticed, because if I do say so myself, I'm good at hiding it. You don't see me eat junk, how could I have re-gained 10 pounds? Because I ate like crap at home: remember that lack of self-control? Yeah, those four bowls of cereal and five granola bars and spoons of Nutella remember too.
And so I am beginning my health/fitness journey once again. This time however, I'm going in with a new mindset. Because abs are made in the kitchen (and since that is my primary goal), I have to remember: I don't have to eat less, I just have to eat better. When I eat good quality, healthy foods, my body responds by using those calories and energy in my favor. And I am so serious, abs are really made in the kitchen. You will not understand until you try this. In one week, I have lost a pound and a half, with minor exercise (some cardio, some weight, and ab work every day), and healthy food. And I have to say, my stomach is already more flat. And I'm not even close to finished. Once school is over, I will be focusing primarily on weight training.
"No discipline seem pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." ~Hebrews 12:11
This verse is my new best friend. I've always thought it was referring to discipline as in like punishment for disobeying your parents or something (which it may), but now I see it as a reminder to keep pushing, and encouragement to take care of my body. My goals are not always going to come easily. I have to work hard for what I want.
Food is meant to be fuel for your body, not comfort. It's not bad if food is comforting, but that shouldn't be why we eat. You can't deny yourself treats every now and then or you'll binge, but self-control is key.
I need you guys to help me stay motivated, and keep me accountable. I'm putting this out in the open because everyone struggles, and we need to be able to talk about it. I'll try and post some updates now and then to let you know how it's going. Seriously though, I'll need encouragement. You can do it too. You just have to start:)
 |
| #goals |
Thursday, February 26, 2015
50 Things About Moi
Thought I'd share some (hopefully) fun, interesting things about myself. Anyone in particular may or may not already know these things, it just depends on how close we are. Some of this stuff is very straight-forward, other things are very personal, and can be continued in a face-to-face conversation if you so wish.
1. I am a proud follower of Jesus Christ. I am so blessed and thankful for my faith and relationship with Him. I do my best to be a good example and shining light to everyone around me.
2. Horses are my favorite animal ever since I first rode one. I will willingly groom and clean out stalls in exchange for riding time. I've always wanted a horse.
3. I love being outside, but have my moments of appreciation for the indoors as well. I wear many hats, and am glad to become an adventurer when necessary.
4. I don't have a favorite food in the general sense of the idea. If you can name a category of food, I will do my best to name a favorite (ex. dessert, cereal, fruits etc.).
5. I don't have a favorite song or movie. I rotate constantly; each one I like usually speaks to me in a different way, so I like them for different reasons. There's so much to choose from. The same goes for books. But I will say, The Fault in Our Stars will always be my go-to.
6. I hate snakes. I blame Animal Planet. Don't ask questions; don't argue.
7. I hate it (like,seriously) when people make a habit of pointing out or saying that I am perfect. I'm most definitely not. I keep a lot to myself unless I feel it's safe to open-up.
8. But, I am a very open person. If you want to know something about me all you have to do is ask. Don't be afraid. I'm willing to talk about anything, but I'm more likely to do so in small groups or one-on-one. I like a select few people knowing my business.
9. When certain things happen to me, it may seem like I shut down. Sometimes that's how I feel, but I'm really just processing. It can take me a long time to accurately put my feelings into words, or even identify how I feel about something. But once I do, I have to share with someone. Through the process (depending on the situation) I'm usually willing to talk about my thoughts. Most of the time, I wait to talk until I'm sure of my feelings because it bugs me when I have to continually retell stories and facts just because I change my mind, since I usually keep a few people updated on my personal life. I have a hard time keeping track of who knows what.
10. I love watching baseball. Preferably not on tv, but I'll take what I can get. I don't know what it is, but baseball totally relaxes me. Be sure though not to interrupt me if I'm watching because I really am paying attention. I have some great memories of watching baseball.
11. I want to serve mac&cheese at my wedding.
12.My right pinkie-toe is double-jointed, allowing me to extend it outward for maximum polishing ability.
13.Crowds make me anxious.
14. I have to keep all my school notes organized and in one place. I get upset when a teacher says to turn in our notes and I have to TEAR THEM OUT OF MY NOTEBOOK. Also, never write on my nice clean assignment with your pen just to try and show me how to do the stupid math problem. That's what sticky notes are for.
15. I've always had a fear of getting rings stuck on my finger, and the fire department having to cut said ring off.
16. I'm weirdly possessive of my water bottle. I take it with me everywhere. Don't touch it, don't drink from it.
17. I love it when people address me by my name during conversations, and when they remember little details and pay attention to my habits.
18. I like to swing. It helps me think.
19. I also like to vacuum. It also helps me think.
20. I have no allergies (that I'm aware of).
21. I've never stayed in a hospital.
22. I've never been stung by a bee.
23. I hate push-ups with a passion. But I enjoy planks and squats.
24. Do not wake me up from a nap unless you have food somewhere waiting for me. But it's probably safer just not to wake me up.
25. I enjoy spending time doing nothing in particular.
26. I am a hopeless romantic. This is no secret. People have told me that I get more excited about certain relationships than the people actually in those relationships.
27. I don't deal with lying. Tell me the truth or leave me alone. It's like what your mama told you when you were little: I'm going to be more upset about the fact that you lied than whatever you felt the need to lie about.
28. I really enjoy writing just to get things off my mind. It's like therapy. That's what I'm doing on my blog for the most part.
29. My favorite color is pink. And sparkles.
30. I have been rock-climbing, and I loved it. It makes you feel powerful and yet humbled to our Creator.
31. If you ever need a last-minute present for me, you can *never* go wrong with office supplies (pens and cute notebooks mostly) and Burt's Bees chapstick.
32. I have exactly one cavity.
33. I get very grouchy if I wait too long to eat.
34. I have an attachment to Taylor Swift's music. Not all of it, but a lot of it.
35. I get really nervous when I'm anticipating a phone call. Or even when I get an unexpected phone call. Like, it's not big deal if I just want to pick up the phone and call you, bit I feel weird having people call me. I'm working on it.
36. If I'm meeting you for the first time, I will shake your hand. That's what makes it official.
37. I have a love/hate relationship with my feet. Sometimes I think they're really cute, and the rest of the time I don't.
38. I'm extremely low-maintenance and easy to please.
39. My favorite kids tv shows are Arthur and the Magic School Bus.
40. I don't eat hot dogs.
41. I make my bed every morning.
42. I will procrastinate on certain homework, by doing all my other homework.
43. I've always been a teacher's pet- I don't strive for these things, guys.
44. My cat has chewed through three pairs of my headphones.
45. I have a serious celebrity-crush on Josh Hutcherson.
46. I looooooooove sewing. Most of my dresses are ones I have made myself. I also knit:)
47. I love children.
48. I have a high pain-tolerance.
49. If my hair is styled in some way, I get really bothered when people play with it without asking first.
50. I have very sensitive ears. It takes effort to keep them from getting infected if I get them pierced, and even then they're fussy.
Okay, well, that's fifty! Believe it or not, just getting to fifty took a lot of work- I don't feel like an interesting person. But I am what I am. And I'm very comfortable with that. :)
1. I am a proud follower of Jesus Christ. I am so blessed and thankful for my faith and relationship with Him. I do my best to be a good example and shining light to everyone around me.
2. Horses are my favorite animal ever since I first rode one. I will willingly groom and clean out stalls in exchange for riding time. I've always wanted a horse.
3. I love being outside, but have my moments of appreciation for the indoors as well. I wear many hats, and am glad to become an adventurer when necessary.
4. I don't have a favorite food in the general sense of the idea. If you can name a category of food, I will do my best to name a favorite (ex. dessert, cereal, fruits etc.).
5. I don't have a favorite song or movie. I rotate constantly; each one I like usually speaks to me in a different way, so I like them for different reasons. There's so much to choose from. The same goes for books. But I will say, The Fault in Our Stars will always be my go-to.
6. I hate snakes. I blame Animal Planet. Don't ask questions; don't argue.
7. I hate it (like,seriously) when people make a habit of pointing out or saying that I am perfect. I'm most definitely not. I keep a lot to myself unless I feel it's safe to open-up.
8. But, I am a very open person. If you want to know something about me all you have to do is ask. Don't be afraid. I'm willing to talk about anything, but I'm more likely to do so in small groups or one-on-one. I like a select few people knowing my business.
9. When certain things happen to me, it may seem like I shut down. Sometimes that's how I feel, but I'm really just processing. It can take me a long time to accurately put my feelings into words, or even identify how I feel about something. But once I do, I have to share with someone. Through the process (depending on the situation) I'm usually willing to talk about my thoughts. Most of the time, I wait to talk until I'm sure of my feelings because it bugs me when I have to continually retell stories and facts just because I change my mind, since I usually keep a few people updated on my personal life. I have a hard time keeping track of who knows what.
10. I love watching baseball. Preferably not on tv, but I'll take what I can get. I don't know what it is, but baseball totally relaxes me. Be sure though not to interrupt me if I'm watching because I really am paying attention. I have some great memories of watching baseball.
12.My right pinkie-toe is double-jointed, allowing me to extend it outward for maximum polishing ability.
13.Crowds make me anxious.
14. I have to keep all my school notes organized and in one place. I get upset when a teacher says to turn in our notes and I have to TEAR THEM OUT OF MY NOTEBOOK. Also, never write on my nice clean assignment with your pen just to try and show me how to do the stupid math problem. That's what sticky notes are for.
15. I've always had a fear of getting rings stuck on my finger, and the fire department having to cut said ring off.
16. I'm weirdly possessive of my water bottle. I take it with me everywhere. Don't touch it, don't drink from it.
17. I love it when people address me by my name during conversations, and when they remember little details and pay attention to my habits.
18. I like to swing. It helps me think.
19. I also like to vacuum. It also helps me think.
20. I have no allergies (that I'm aware of).
21. I've never stayed in a hospital.
22. I've never been stung by a bee.
23. I hate push-ups with a passion. But I enjoy planks and squats.
24. Do not wake me up from a nap unless you have food somewhere waiting for me. But it's probably safer just not to wake me up.
25. I enjoy spending time doing nothing in particular.
26. I am a hopeless romantic. This is no secret. People have told me that I get more excited about certain relationships than the people actually in those relationships.
27. I don't deal with lying. Tell me the truth or leave me alone. It's like what your mama told you when you were little: I'm going to be more upset about the fact that you lied than whatever you felt the need to lie about.
28. I really enjoy writing just to get things off my mind. It's like therapy. That's what I'm doing on my blog for the most part.
29. My favorite color is pink. And sparkles.
30. I have been rock-climbing, and I loved it. It makes you feel powerful and yet humbled to our Creator.
31. If you ever need a last-minute present for me, you can *never* go wrong with office supplies (pens and cute notebooks mostly) and Burt's Bees chapstick.
32. I have exactly one cavity.
33. I get very grouchy if I wait too long to eat.
35. I get really nervous when I'm anticipating a phone call. Or even when I get an unexpected phone call. Like, it's not big deal if I just want to pick up the phone and call you, bit I feel weird having people call me. I'm working on it.
36. If I'm meeting you for the first time, I will shake your hand. That's what makes it official.
37. I have a love/hate relationship with my feet. Sometimes I think they're really cute, and the rest of the time I don't.
38. I'm extremely low-maintenance and easy to please.
39. My favorite kids tv shows are Arthur and the Magic School Bus.
40. I don't eat hot dogs.
41. I make my bed every morning.
42. I will procrastinate on certain homework, by doing all my other homework.
43. I've always been a teacher's pet- I don't strive for these things, guys.
44. My cat has chewed through three pairs of my headphones.
45. I have a serious celebrity-crush on Josh Hutcherson.
46. I looooooooove sewing. Most of my dresses are ones I have made myself. I also knit:)
47. I love children.
48. I have a high pain-tolerance.
49. If my hair is styled in some way, I get really bothered when people play with it without asking first.
50. I have very sensitive ears. It takes effort to keep them from getting infected if I get them pierced, and even then they're fussy.
Okay, well, that's fifty! Believe it or not, just getting to fifty took a lot of work- I don't feel like an interesting person. But I am what I am. And I'm very comfortable with that. :)
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