Sometimes, the tears just come in waves. And you don't know why exactly, but there's no use fighting it because that, honestly, just makes the headache worse.
Tonight I've got a case of something. Not sure what. But it's making me cry. No joke, my eyes are all swollen and my head hurts, and my nose is all stuffed up.
My mama is so good to me, just rubbing my head until I calm down. But then I start crying again, and I hate when she doesn't know I'm still crying so I try to stop.
I don't really know why I'm crying. That's okay. It's been a while since I just let it come.
I learned something important today, that I think a lot of people never quite understand: missing someone and grieving them/their absence is not the same thing.
Maybe I'm crying because I miss some people. Maybe I'm crying because I'm afraid they'll never know it, and because I feel that it's somehow not okay for me to tell them. Maybe I'm crying because I can only hope they miss me too. I don't know.
Maybe I'm crying because I'm overwhelmed by the love of my Jesus, and can't comprehend the entire extravagant meaning of this Easter holiday, and feel so unworthy.
Or I may just be hormonal and tired. You never know. ;)
I feel the need to share this small segment of my night, because I think a lot of people won't ever physically see this part of me. People just don't see me crying- I'm a happy person. I've cried a lot of tears in my life though, and I feel like people think it's wrong to cry, that it's wrong to feel sad. But I believe it's so important to be honest about how we're feeling because so many people cover it up and then wonder why nobody understands them or sees their hurt.
*Breathe* I guess I'll sleep good now! I'm worn out. But you have to cry sometimes or you'll just explode. Don't really have a point here, but what the heck, I needed a blog post anyway.
Goodnight, everyone.
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