One Love

I really, really, truly want to give God control of everything in my life. And I don't know quite what I'm heading toward here, except something in writing to remind myself of my own expectations, specifically in the area of "more than friends" relationships. I know God is preparing me, and teaching me, and I can't ignore this feeling in my heart that I know is Him speaking to me.
               


Now, let me say right away: I am not hunting down any sort of romantic relationship. I want only God's will for my life, and that includes Him deciding who I date and when. But at this very moment in time, I am having a hard time spitting out the most important thought in my mind: If you are not strong in your walk with the Lord, and are not in a position to take responsibility of the role of spiritual leader in your relationship with me, then stop where you are. Feel free to think about calling me when you are ready, but if that isn't happening now, then you need to figure it out.

I cannot compromise myself when it comes to this necessity. I can not and will not pursue a relationship with someone who is not actively pursuing the Lord first, and who isn't ready to be the godly leader I need. I need to remember that this is a non-negotiable. I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and protect myself. The Bible states very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers". DON'T DO IT. Because eventually it will cost more than you bargained for.

I know personally I have trouble with living this out sometimes in the sense that I think I can fix people; and because I'm sometimes flirty without intending to be, which isn't fair to anyone.  But I have to remember that it's not my job to change people. Only God can work in their hearts. So I have to continue to give Him control. 

Ladies, don't trust words- trust actions. Trust honesty, and respect, and caring. Don't compromise.

A helpful links: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-guys-you-should-never-date 

Not to Worry Darling

Okay, so. It starts again.
I knew it was coming too- every year after school starts, I begin to feel a bit left-out when it comes to homecoming and couples and all that lovey-dovey stuff. Everyone is going out and looking cute and taking pictures. And then there's me standing...with myself. Alone. It helps a lot when I'm told that it doesn't make sense I'm single. And I'm like "that's what I'm saying". I start to get down on myself, questioning what is wrong with me, and after some deep looking-staring out my window-stuff, I am reminded of two things:

1. I am not single because boys don't find me attractive. I think it's because they're scared of me. Just kidding (but seriously). No, I am single because because I have very high standards and expectations of guys and relationships, and I make those clear to everyone in the way I live and present myself. I expect to be respected and anyone who knows me understands this. And I know it can been seen as intimidating. If a guy isn't willing to step up to the plate, though, then what's the point anyway? I shouldn't have to make it easy. So I don't know why I let myself think that I'm the problem.



Because I know there really is no problem, which leads into my next point.

2. God is preparing me. He is preparing My Man. He's teaching us, readying us. I am single because He is not ready to share me yet. He's letting the details fall into place, and through my doubt, He is most definitely teaching me patience. I am obviously needing to learn how to wait. And it's not fair of me to expect any guy to be ready to handle my crazy self (yet).

Short and sweet, but my question is WHY CAN'T I JUST FIGURE THIS OUT AND REMEMBER IT? It's not that complicated. I know everything above^. I do. So the next time I start to have a little pity-party, feel free to tell me to take my own advice and read my blog.

Always What I Need

"Come to Me when you are weak and weary...I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion- My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.
Do not compare yourself to others who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours... I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My presence. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow Me to bless you richly through it." ~Jesus Calling, August 12, 2014.

Today (yesterday at this point) was the first day of school, and as we were getting ready to leave, I wanted to make sure I didn't forget to at least read my devotional before I started my day- because I had a feeling it was going to be good.

Of course with the first day of school comes the jitters and the better-than-usual, more-effort hair, make-up, and outfit. And the doubts and insecurities too: "What if everyone looks better than I do?" "This pimple is HUGE." "What if I have no friends?" Or not, but you get the idea.

As I was getting ready to head out the door, feeling confident and a bit nervous, this days' devo was just what I needed.

First, "Come to Me when you are weak and weary". *Inhales comforting breath and reminder* The end of last school year was rough in the sense that I didn't really want to be there; people bothered and annoyed me, and quite frankly I wanted to be left alone (or just go home). I often found myself with a bad attitude and would forget to ask God to help me and give me strength. ^What a great reminder for a fresh year.

Then, "Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been". I am not perfect. God understands my heart and my needs. He knows the weird, awkward-feeling times I went through. And He wants me to learn from them.

"Do not compare yourself with others".

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.

Hello? Need I say more? This is the first day of school people, you know what I'm saying.
God had me read this for a reason.

God is molding us through our hurt, awkwardness, insecurities, and doubt. But we have to let him take those burdens from us to use them for our good. He wants to bless us. <3

What Are Our Desires?

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

I have read this many times in my life. Most of those times I heard something to the extent of "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will answer all your prayers" or "and He will give you all the things you want" or "and He will make your dreams come true".  Or some variation of that idea. I can't be the only one; that is what the verse seems to be saying at a first glance. And as a kid, that makes the most sense.

Luke 11:9-10 presents a similar idea : "'So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.'"

Again, a first thought was probably like "So if I pray for it, I'll get it" or "If I look for these friends, or these designer boots I'll get them, because I want them. No; I need them".  Or whatever things we felt was missing from our lives when we read these verses.

First looking at them, these two verses seem to imply that if we pray better or love God better or read our Bibles with more purpose, that God will in-turn love us more and give us everything we want. Which is definitely not the case. Sorry. His love for us never changes- it is always great.

During church a long time ago, the true idea of this Psalm was explained to me/ my class, and it made sense once I heard it. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, we learn His love and truths, and ultimate control and understanding of the whole universe, and we come to know His heart. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He changes the desires of our hearts.He molds our wants and desires, shaping them as we draw near to Him, to look more and more like His desires for our lives. When we delight in the Lord, with our hearts in-line with His and His will for our lives, His desires become our desires.

So when we are close to God, the things He wants for us become what we want as well. Getting the desires of our hearts becomes a whole lot easier when they're not our material desires, and when we remember that God already knows our hearts. <3