Why Dating May Not Be Worth It (Right Now)

Recently I have noticed, more than usual, how girls long for boys and their attention. Any girl- whether you're 12 or 24 (or 80)- wants to be loved and taken care of by a man. And that's how we girls are raised to feel; that we need a man to be considered valuable. We are raised on fairy tales and Disney movies, where the Princess is *always* saved by the prince (except in Frozen; kudos). I mean, I am all for the idea of being taken care of by my husband and having him be the head of our home, and being a stay-at-home mom. But I also believe that until God opens the door for you to have a significant other, you need to rely on Him first, and everything else will fall into place. We need be okay with being alone, before we can be blessed by new relationships.

But what is love in the world's eyes; Sex? And what makes a man; A guy with a job?  In a Christ-centered relationship, how you love others should be a reflection of Christ. God is love. His sacrifice is love. Compassion and grace and forgiveness is love. And a man, is someone who will love God first, and more than he could ever love you. Someone who will lead by example, and want God's will for both your lives.

I have discovered very recently, that dating in high school isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean yeah, there are great guys out there, and if God blesses you with a boy who will love and take care of you, and is willing to wait on your boundaries, then go ahead and work with that. But let's just accept reality- high school boys are idiots. Especially when they are in groups. They just aren't mature, especially when it comes to relationships; there are too many temptations and distractions. And they have no idea what they want. Girls aren't much better; we are constantly on this emotional roller coaster, and there's always some drama. With that being said, why blend that chaos together?

There are two huge ideas that are often forgotten when dating pops into our young minds:

• We need to have our priorities straight before we go looking for companionship. In order to have a successful relationship with anybody, God needs to be at the top of your list. When you're close with God, you know truth and you know love. And you are able to know what those look like. Then you are able to understand your need for them, and show them to others. Then we need to focus on school. You only go through high school once, and it really is a blessing- don't screw it up and lose focus. And then there's family and friends. Friends, meaning girl friends (guy friends). Like, just friends friends. These are important too, and kids forget about them once they get caught up in the idea that they have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. And ladies, your girl friends will last a lot longer than any boyfriend you will find (and you'll already know who you want your bridesmaids to be ;) ). 

• Date with intent. There is really only one reason to date at all: finding someone to marry. If you think about it, every time you date someone, you're trying to figure out if you could spend the rest of your life with them. Or at least you should be. "Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy, or you take something that isn't yours." It's so true. you're either going to get married or break up. And being in high school, you aren't getting married. But that doesn't mean you should go into relationships with a closed mind; because one relationship will last. You will marry someone. So you need to be open and ready for that path. 

I guess my point is this: focus on school and friends while you can. You have your whole life to date. I'm not saying that I want to be alone forever- nobody does. But be willing to wait. Wait for a guy with all the right qualities. Let's go over some of those, shall we?

First off, he should have a relationship with God. That will solve a lot of issues right off the bat. It says in 2 Corinthians 6 to not be yolked together with unbelievers. It is a lot easier for you to get dragged into sin by a guy who doesn't know God, than to ever be able to change him. So find someone who believes what you do. Next, this guy needs to be an appropriate age. During high school, I don't think you should get involved with someone who is more than a year older than you (two, tops). After you're graduated, that's a different story. You want a guy with goals and dreams. You need to be able to know that he will have a good career someday that will be able to provide for your family. SWAG won't pay the bills in 10 years. You need a guy that's okay with waiting for you. Who is okay with your boundaries, and supports them. If he really loves you, he will still love you when you're finally able to date, or when you're ready to become more serious; it won't be a temporary, all or nothing, relationship. He will follow through on his word, and do what he says. He will want to see you happy, and will treat you with respect. He will treat you like the lady you are, and he will help you find and understand your natural beauty. He should be ready to lead you, and take responsibility for his actions. And he will never want to change anything about you, because he should love you for who you are.
Guys, you also need a girl with the same characteristics and goals.

So, dating is not a bad thing at all. It just may save you a lot of trouble to wait until the end of high school to get into a serious relationship. Dating leads to marriage, and marriage is a beautiful thing. So you don't want to rush into it with the wrong person. God will open all the right doors if you're meant to be with someone. So don't sweat it. <3

*Some great books I have found on these topics: Dateable, For young Women Only, And The Bride Wore White. Also always follow parent's rules, before making decisions about dating yourself.